One night last week at one of the many ball games I overheard one of the parents talking about me. They said something to the tune of, "She spreads herself too thin."
I started to ask what they meant but got sidetracked taking Rosie to the potty. I've never really had the opportunity to follow up with this parent - the comment was made behind my back. Therefore I don't know if this was a positive or negative comment. However this has really bothered me for the last several days. I am involved with all of the things my children do. I stay at baseball practice rather than drop off my boys. I stay at dance class with Rosie. I try to eat lunch with my boys at school whenever possible. I'm Tate's room mother. I'm co-room mother of Lake's class. I'm the team mom for Tate's t-ball team. I plan to help out with both boys class next year since they will be in the same school. I don't have a job outside of the home. This is what I was meant to do with my life at this moment. Be a mom. I have no doubt about that. Oh the thought has crossed my mind to take everyone out of school and home school them. Things would be (sort of) easier. I would only have to worry about my four children and not the entire class. But I can't teach them everything they need to know. Plus they enjoy the social aspect of school.
This rambling is hopeless. I feel overwhelmed. I shouldn't let that comment bother me. I hope I'm not whining...
2 comments:
Are you happy? Do you feel spread too thin? That's the question to ask.
The person who made this comment may feel bad about how little she is doing, how little she is involved.
I get looks all the time when I am with all three of my kids, say, at the library or in the grocery store or at the park. Those looks and sometimes the mouths are saying, "Whew! She's got her hands full." Many times my reply is, "I knew what I was getting into."
Do what makes you feel good. Be your own judge (well let the kids help and dear hubby too) about how much you can do.
I don't stay during dance class because I want Inwe to be independent. The kids are taking swim lessons in a few weeks. I'll be there because I want to encourage them and see how they are progressing. Inwe will be taking a cheerleading class this summer. I'm not going to watch, but that's because Larien will want to be right in there. And, Inwe likes it when I leave and just watch her finished performance.
Ask John Henry and Tate what they think about you being so involved. Ask Rosie.
Did that help?
Only you know if you are spread to thin. I have a friend who is definitely overwhelmed and I say it to her face. She admits it but never does anything to resolve the problem. Hence her moaning and sighing can be annoying at times. But we all make our own beds.
I agree with HP that the mother might have been lamenting her own lack of involvement or even be expressing heart felt concern for you. Afterall if the mother is overwhelmed with only 1 or 2 kids and she cares about you, then of course she will worry since you have 4! Either way, do as HP recommended and ask yourself if you are hurting.
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