Yesterday after we took Rosie to school, Daisy and I went grocery shopping. One of the workers was stocking shelves and stopped to ask us how we were, could we find everything, etc.. Then he commented on how beautiful Daisy is. She had been listening and looking at him but when he directed the comment to her, she immediately looked away. He asked me if she was being bashful. I told him that she was probably about to ask me if he was a stranger. Well, he touched her hair while he was telling her that he indeed is a stranger. (What is it with strangers touching children? I know it's probably innocent but it bothers me.) At this point she started crying to the point that I had to pick her up and hold her close to me and whisper to her. The worker apologized (he seemed sincere) and then went back to work.
The rest of the time we were in the store she kept noticing people were looking at her. She would point to them and ask me if they were a stranger. I would ask her if she knew their name. If she said no, then we agreed that they were indeed a stranger. I have also explained that it's OK for adults to speak to strangers AND it's OK to answer a stranger if you are with Mommy and Daddy. We won't let anything happen to her. I even told her that I would punch a stranger in the nose if they tried to harm her!
I want her to have a healthy fear of strangers but not to be terrified of them, especially if I am with her.
Any suggestions?
1 comment:
She has to understand that talking to strangers is okay with mom or dad right next to her. I've found the best way to approach this is to be very upfront with the person talking and to my children. First--don't touch them. I had to tell a grandfather like person to stop just yesterday. He was about to tickle Finwe. Larien was holding as tightly to me as she could. She had talked to him because I was talking to him, but she went on the defensive as soon as he tried to touch Finwe. She understood the difference in my posture and attitude as well.
It's possible that Daisy is just more sensitive to the stranger danger concept because she is the fourth and has heard this from her brothers and sisters. Or, maybe she's just more sensitive. Just be patient and work with her. Kids need to hear something at least seven times for it to stay in their heads. She'll get it, but in the meantime, be very blunt to the stranger who wants to touch her.
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