Yesterday

Yesterday I took the girls and met my mom for an afternoon of shopping. She lives about thirty minutes away, so, thankfully I am able to see her often.

On the way, Rosie asked me if I cried when Papaw died. She also wanted to know if she cried when he died. Daisy was 23 months old when he died and she doesn't seem to remember much about that time. If she does remember, she doesn't verbalize it. Daisy asked Rosie why Papaw died. Rosie told her that his kidneys had failed. The way she said kidneys sounded more like 'kid a knees'. Daisy said, "Was he mad?"

I stayed out of the conversation. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach and tried to knock the breath out of me.

I don't know if he was mad or not.

I like to think he was not.

I also like to wish I wasn't mad about it.